Weak Answer:
I am interested in working on Wall Street as an investment banking analyst. Lots of my former teammates on the swim team have gone into the finance and investment banking world. I think that I possess a lot of similar qualities that would make me a good investment banker. I am driven, hard working and not afraid to put in the necessary time commitments. I have worked long hours in school while juggling swimming and academics and I feel confident that I will excel in this industry. I constantly like to be challenged and I like the deadline driven environment of investment banking.
Strong Answer:
I am interested in an opportunity as an investment banking analyst because I think I am well suited for the fast-paced and analytical environment. I understand that investment bankers might be required to put in twice the hours of those in other professions.
I believe that my academic and athletic experience at ABC University has provided me with the appropriate skills that will help me hit the ground running in an investment banking career. I have gained the necessary analytical and quantitative skills as a public policy major and econ minor, with relevant courses including Financial Statement Analysis, Econometrics, and Economics. My time management skills have been put to test as a varsity swimmer, an activity requiring 30+ hours per week, in addition to my extremely competitive major.
I always had an interest in finance. I am a member of the finance club and actively trade a small portfolio of stocks with $2,500 my parents gave me for Christmas. My school does not offer finance classes, but I took a corporate finance course at a neighboring college. I also attended a workshop held at JP Morgan where I participated in trading simulations and a case study of an initial public offering.
Commentary:
Don’t get side-tracked trying to evaluate whether or not this person is a good candidate. The point is how the two answers differ. In the weak answer, the candidate says all of the right things, but provides very little detail. The strong answer gives actual detail of how the person has demonstrated their interest and competence. As a rule, if you can substitute the name of another person for your own in your answer to the question, then you did not personalize your story sufficiently. For instance, communicating that you are a good fit for this position because you are "team oriented, a hard worker and have strong leadership abilities" is not good enough. I could substitute the names of numerous people into that slot. Try it yourself. It is not enough to simply use adjectives. You must provide real life examples of those traits that are specific to your personal experience.